The first message is a small thing with an outsized impact. It is the difference between a conversation that goes somewhere and a match that sits in the list untouched.
The good news is that it is not complicated. The first message just needs to do two things: show that you read the profile and give the other person something worth responding to.
What does not work
Generic openers
"Hey", "Hi there", "How are you?" — these require nothing. They signal that you found the person attractive enough to match but did not find them interesting enough to actually read their profile. The response rate on these is low because they give the other person nothing to respond to.
Compliments about appearance only
"You're really beautiful" as a first message is well-intentioned but rarely leads anywhere on a serious dating platform. It says nothing about you, and it gives the other person nothing to build a conversation from. It also makes appearance the foundation of the exchange, which is not where most people want to start.
Long introductions about yourself
A paragraph about your job, your interests and what you are looking for — before they have said anything — puts the other person in the position of having to respond to a lot of information they did not ask for. Keep the first message short. The conversation is the place for depth.
What works
Reference something specific from their profile
If their Dating CV mentions that they took a solo trip somewhere, that they are learning something specific, that they have a strong opinion about something — start there. Not "I saw you like cooking" (too vague) but "I noticed you said you have made biryani from scratch three times and are still not satisfied — what is the standard you are aiming for?"
This shows you read the profile and gives them something specific to respond to. It also signals that you are interested in them as a person, not just as a potential match.
Ask a question
First messages that end with a question are easier to respond to than statements. The question does not have to be profound — it just has to be specific enough to invite a real answer, not a yes or no.
Keep it short
Two or three sentences is enough. You are opening a door, not writing a letter. The conversation is where you get to know each other.
What to do if they do not respond
One follow-up after a few days is reasonable if the conversation seemed genuinely promising. Beyond that, let it go. Not everyone is active on the app. Not everyone is at a point where they want to engage with new people. It is rarely personal.
On Findin specifically
On Findin, the first message happens inside the interview round — after both people have already reviewed each other's Dating CVs and accepted the connection. This means you already know more about each other than you would on most apps when you send your first message. That changes the starting point.
You can reference specific things from their Dating CV — their career background, their goals, what they said about past relationships. You are starting a conversation with someone who has already expressed interest, based on a fuller picture than a photo.
See also: how the interview round works on Findin.